The evening at Belurmath reminded me this word. When I was a kid and was learning this wonderful language called English, I used to spend a lot of time learning new words. A red color hardbound lexicon popularly known as “SAMSAD ENGLISH TO BENGALI DICTIONARY” was my most favorite companion when I used to mug up those difficult-to-spell words or the tantalizing tongue-twisters. And it was one of those words that were learnt years ago, and forgotten almost at the same time. But someone said, using words helps you learn them effectively. You remember them more than you would have by just searching for the meaning of them in an age old pillow-shaped dictionary. And I was actually enjoying my last evening before hibernation. The winter has just arrived in Kolkata, and I am feeling the need to hide out in my niche - not because of winter actually, but because of something that every winter brings along to aspirants like me - the CAT exam. I left my job 2 months ago with plans of being bookworm and locking myself up in my 8ft x 10 ft abode studying hard for the common admission test, but only to roam around the city in the end - with friends, girls, girlfriends. I had been to all the happening places of the city – pubs, malls, the expensive cinemas, and places where gluttons and gastronomes gather (restaurants, in simpler language – it’s not that every time I aspire audaciously to alliterate - am recently reading another red colored half-pillow-sized but paperback book - Word Power Made Easy by Norman Lewis – I really can’t help using those newly learnt G-words – and the best learnings are those that you acquire by practical use – I have introduced the philosophy already in the first para above). Money was being wasted as if water – if I just translate the sentence that my mom would use in Bengali to scold me for wasting money, it would have been – I am letting money flow out of my hand as if it’s water. But that day I went to a place where water is actually flowing – from an oblivious age. I went to Belurmath – the pilgrimage where Ganga is flowing. I knew I am going to hibernate for next one month till 30th November – the CAT date for me. And before that I wanted to have my last evening spent with fun and frolic. I decided to cross the Howrah Bridge to go to the other side of the river. I wanted to bridge the gap between me and Poms[1]. And when I reached there I was sitting idle on the lawn near the ghat (the steps to the river) till the time she arrived. I was occasionally looking at pairs who were busy doing chit chats and things that young couples usually do at places like this far from their home and amidst green and serene atmosphere. And then I concentrated on an earthworm that was just inches away from me and was trying to push a maggi-like mass of mud up by its tail (or mouth, or whatever! They both look alike). But I was getting bored and tried to read few more pages from my recent companion of all outings (Word Power Made Easy). But then the girl, sitting just next to me ogled at me with a weird look. I guess she was not impressed with a guy sitting at such a serene place looking at a placid book. So to make her happy or to make myself feel more impressive to her, I closed the book, and put it inside my ALSTOM-marked-black-bag. And I looked at the serene shrine in front of me – the holy Ganga. And my eyes were fixed on a middle aged women clad in saree, hindusthani style[2]. Her appearance suggested she was from a lower middle class family and the mother of two at least (or three or more – the lower middle class families in India usually have more children than they can really afford, and their rich counterparts despite having so much of wealth have very less number of people to inherit that – completely my personal belief though – or may be even misconception – nobody should be offended). She was offering pranams to Ganga Maiya with folded hands touching her forehead just below the veil. I guess, she was praying for the well being of her kids just like how I often pray for my success in this year’s CAT. She came to Ganga – the river that embodies affluence, abundance, fruitfulness – a deluge of all the good things in life – a cataclysm of happiness. She threw a coin (it may be a one-rupee one, but I would strongly believe it was a five-rupees coin, as I know the lower middle class are so theistic that they spend more at such religious places than they can reasonably afford – they are so devoted) to the holy Ganga just like how, my mom believes, I ‘pour’ money in water.
The logical self that I have tells me that there is a necessity of atheism. But the emotional one is more devoted to God. It makes me believe in divinity. And when I am at such divine places the later one always gets the better of the former. And I don’t know why I joined my both hands in the same manner that the poor lady had done moments ago. I prayed to the holy Ganga to give me the go – to go and vie for victory. I prayed to her to bring in my life the cataclysm – the deluge of happiness – not the one that one derives after getting an MBA degree and the associated affluence – but the one, one enjoys to one’s heart’s content – the happiness of achieving something – the fruitfulness after doing something difficult – the abundance of satisfaction on cracking CAT.
Only a month left! I need the deluge of determination to make the CATaclysm happen.
Footnoes
[1] – my half girl-friend; go through my last blog entries to know more about this.
[2] – the non Bengali women especially those from neighboring state Bihar do not wear sarees in the same manner that Bengalis do. And this is one thing which helps us recognize a woman whether she is a Bengali or otherwise.
